Someday I will just drop off this world

When I was a child in school the teacher told us the world was not flat, that it was round. I had never thought of the world having shape. He seemed too pleased to tell us this. He said people had believed we could just walk and walk and eventually would fall off the edge of the world. He demonstrated by walking his two fingers along his desk, stopping and looking to see if we were looking and then dangled his two fingers over the edge and screamed a little until it changed into a laugh. We all laughed too.

Falling off the edge of the world, he said. How ridiculous is that, he said. One boy, one who always loved asking questions, asked but how come we can fall of the edge of our seats. The teacher smiled at him and said it was because of gravity. He said it again, but this time he said it more slowly, breaking up the sounds and telling us that was why; gravity was the reason. The boy asked what gravity was. The teacher said it was a force that kept us fixed to the ground. The boy asked what a force was and the teacher smiled again, scanned the whole room, bit on his bottom lip and said it was gravity, gravity was a force that stopped us from flying away. Another boy said we could not fly away because we had no wings. The teacher said if there was no gravity we wouldn’t need wings, we could just jump and fly. I said why would we need to jump. He said because we would be on the ground. He jumped to demonstrate. I said but isn’t gravity what keeps us on the ground. He said yes. I said without gravity we would not be on the ground so how could we jump. He scanned the room again and said I had all the answers. I said that was a question. I said how could we jump if we were not on the ground. The teacher laughed. He said he would like to walk me to the edge of the world and let me fall off. He laughed again. The class laughed too. I said if we got to the edge of the world I would push him off. He did not laugh. The class laughed. But the world is round he said. You couldn’t push me off he said. He began to laugh. I said I would not be walking anywhere with him anyway. This time we all laughed.

The teacher picked up an orange from his desk and held it out. He rotated it in his hand and told us the world was like the orange.



Someday I will just drop off this world

My music box of dreams has unwound

When I was little my mother would stand on our doorstep and watch me walk down the hill on my way to school. My schoolbag was made of old, brown leather and had straps that allowed me to carry it on my shoulders. Even though I knew she would watch until I turned the corner, I still would turn around to check. I had to turn because the schoolbag was too big for me to glance over my shoulder. Reaching the corner, I would wave to her and she to me. Then she would go back in home to do her housework and I would unstrap my schoolbag, walk over to the walled garden of the corner shop and drop the bag in.  Then I would climb in after it.

- Is that you, boy?

- Ya. I’m here.

- What kept you?

- Nothing. Sure, I’m here now aren’t I?

In the darkened shade of the evergreen trees, we would wait. 



this breath in my chest unchewed


this breath in my chest unchewed

 this noise behind
has the glass vibrating
the dust in the sunlight

but it quietens

a shadow glides past
and has me frightened

no words i heard
have me prepared
for this darkness

my toes in my shoes
don’t move
my breath in my chest
is unchewed

but it passes

this noise behind
has the glass vibrating
the dust in the sunlight

this nagging knowingness


A clippety clop it goes

a clippety clop it goes
this nagging knowingness

a drip-dropping aloneness
a still-of-night remoteness

a head-flopping heaviness
this nagging knowingness

a shrunken world below us
a carved-out hollowness within us

this socketless electricity 
this unyearned-for-loss 

a clippety clop it goes
a clippety clop it goes
this nagging knowingness

it can end

this nagging knowingness it can end


Days had a darkness

Days had a darkness. Sun stayed set from the day just passed or it could be days passed. I could not recall the last time I spoke. I heard people talking to me, felt their gaze, but without wanting to, I ignored them. Their eyes I avoided. Their eyes were the only lights I saw. And those eyes saw me. And I did not want to be seen. A shudder would arrive in my heart if our eyes should meet. If I could have, I would have carried my head under my arms with my eyes firmly set on the ground below me. 


Days had a darkness